At the end of the kids’ class tonight, I heard Andrew ask the kids what the rule about jiu-jitsu is. They chanted, “Only use it here in class.” And then one piped up: “Unless you’re being assassinated or something.”
Where did that come from?!
Warmup. Legs are like lead weights. Then groups of 3 for round robin, one person starting under side control but then normal grappling after that. On my “break” rounds, Andrew waved me over to work with him on attacks from side control. Crap, I once again know no jiu-jitsu. He’d say, “Go for X,” and I’d look and I’d think and I’d look, but I had no idea what to do. By the end of the rounds (2? 3?) with him, though, my brain had been re-exposed to just about every submission & situation it once knew starting from side control and had occasionally managed to approximate one of them without requiring too much coaching from Andrew.
Crappling — I is doing it.
Drilling was the americana to kimura sequence, picking up from yesterday. I was trying very hard to be tight and heavy everywhere, and I think I made my first partner run off a little earlier than he normally does. So that at least was working.
Then rounds. Aaaaand I am crappling again.
The bit of good news for the night is that, when I rolled with Janet and Kelly, my internal monologue said nothing about being worried about hurting them. Instead, it was positively gleeful as I tried to smash them. (The smashing often got turned around on me because I had no clue what I was doing beyond Hulk smash!, but at least when I was attacking I was internally cackling with delight. This is a vast improvement and I like it.)
After class, Janet and I talked for a bit. We both wish we could be more like Emily and Jen, who will cheerfully murder people on the mats, in turn get murdered, and either way bounce up with a grin to go again. I, on the other hand, worry too much. I think that many of the times that I’ve been accused of “thinking too much,” it hasn’t been jiu-jitsu I’ve been thinking through but rather whether I’m hurting or will hurt my partner. We both agreed that we need to roll at a “meaner” level so that we all get better.
I hope it will help my brain even more to know that the other ladies are thinking the same as I am and that they want me to smash them in return. Yeah, that should definitely help.