Progress Report, August 2011

Er, I keep forgetting to do these. So this one covers June and July, too. Game coverage will have to come later; I meant to get to it before this long, busy weekend, but didn’t.

June was an odd bird. I bought a house, so I was all sorts of distracted with moving and painting and housekeeping and grocery shopping and all that. I did start morning classes once I lived closer. And there was the whole thing with our jiu-jitsu finding a new home in a new martial arts school. So June was never really cohesive; lots of interruptions. Reading back over my posts from then, though, I found a few happy moments, some little signs that perhaps there’s an end to this plateau.

July, however, was probably the most miserable I’ve been in a while. If June showed that there was perhaps an end in sight, July squashed that hope thoroughly. For every little bit of progress I thought I’d see or had seen, something would happen to absolutely crush not only that progress but also any hopes of even making progress in that way again. The whole month felt like I was getting slapped down for anything and everything, as if nothing I did was right and as if I couldn’t make anyone happy. And of course, the month culminated with my most spectacular breakdown ever. Fanfreakingtastic.

That day led to lots of thinking, and I decided to take a break without taking a full-on break. For the month of August, I slept through morning classes and stayed away on Tuesday & Thursday nights (and one whole Saturday, lol) to give myself some down time. I’m not sure that it helped much physically — I seemed even more exhausted the few nights that I did train — but it certainly did help my brain to step off the hamster wheel and breathe a little. And then when I needed a night off because I didn’t feel well, I didn’t stress out and just texted my coach and took the night off.

Though I was somewhat able to get my brain rested, actual jiu-jitsu-wise nothing seemed to change much, only that I’ve been a little better about not taking it all quite so personally.


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