(Waiting on clothes to dry, and feel like writing now.)
Made another mistake tonight — went home and sat in the LazyBoy. Ooooooo… That things drains all willpower and compels you to sink in further and further… But, finally pried myself out and left for class anyway. Oh, I wanted to sleep instead so badly…
Rolling to start class. Buddy, TR (he got me with the “Hey, what’s that over there?” which works every time, and then swoop and swept), and Adam. Drilling, same as Tuesday. Then two more rolls.
I’m going to deviate from my recently acquired habit of not posting about rolls. But, in one of those latter, I made a boy Hulk-out tonight from frustration after I choked him within 20s, swept him several times, attacked chokes and limbs, kept him from getting in close, and escaped every time he picked me up and tossed me over. I could see his eyes switch from “Okay, I’m going hard” (his default setting) to “Okay, I’m going harder” to “Why the frack is this not working and she’s choking me again?!” Hulk angry. But that isn’t why I wanted to post this. This is: I dealt with the Hulk without freaking out or panicking or increasing my intensity and without simply defending the rest of the round. Now granted, he’s a white belt and newer, and his Hulk-out skills are not that great, but he is bigger and stronger than me and was trying very much to use both — and the intensity and the intent were there, and it’s the intensity especially that I usually feel and feed off of. But this time, I kept control of myself and of the roll, and I did it without having to increase my energy output by much; I played smart, didn’t fight muscle to muscle, and I hit angles and did that whole jiu-jitsu thing. He even commented at one point that he had no idea how to roll with me, that I was creating and taking away space and he couldn’t do a thing about it.
No class at all tomorrow or Saturday, but plenty going on. Maybe try to get this house put together so it’s decent to have people visit. 😉