BJJ Grrl

"Be gentle, kind and beautiful, yet firm and strong, both mentally and physically." ~Sensei Keiko Fukuda


on March 19, 2011

Chrissy wrote a excellent article on winning (and losing) in the academy. Go read it, if you haven’t.

So of course I’d read this yesterday, so last night at Open Mat I was determined to win. (I think I mostly have that idea anyway [my issues come when I can’t seem to figure out the right response at the right time and so don’t feel as if I’m actually learning anything], but this time I was just going to be conscious of it and point it out to myself.) I also sat out in my car until guys got there and read a few chapters from Art of Learning. I usually start with “Investment in Loss” and read from there.

It’s been a long, craptacular week at work — my manager interrupted me for so many silly things that I finally had to give up on getting anything real done. Then yesterday he asked for an analysis of all calls for the week that reached prompts W, X, Y, and Z, and he mentioned that he’d already done a quick look at Thursdays’s call data and hadn’t seen any so it shouldn’t take me too long. … … 349. Three. Hundred. Forty. Nine. And plenty from Thursday. And on top of that, I’ve had the worst time sleeping. So I was tired and grouchy and really considering scrapping it all and going home to sleep.

I stayed, of course, because of that idiotic stubbornness I have. It doesn’t know when to give up. Anyway… Sat around, though, talking to Guillaume for a while because I didn’t have the activation energy to actually start rolling. Andrew came in shortly after and took my conversation partner away. TR showed up, so we worked for a little bit. (I think he’s afraid of hurting me; he seems hyper-careful when we roll.) Only for a couple of minutes, though, and then he wanted to wait until one of the guys was free. Andrew eventually finished with Guillaume, so I rolled with him while Andrew went with TR. There were moments of winning — transitions happened, sweeps happened, moving happened. Good. We rolled for a good long while because everyone else stayed partnered up and working, too. A bit later, I rolled ~15 min with Andrew. He was actually going for the armbar when I waved it around, so I got to try what Justin had pointed out on Thursday. Hit it once, too.

So, small moments of win.


%d bloggers like this: