BJJ Grrl

"Be gentle, kind and beautiful, yet firm and strong, both mentally and physically." ~Sensei Keiko Fukuda


on August 24, 2010

Students are back, and the mat was busy tonight. Kept having to move to find open space. I swear, there’s a jiu-jitsu black hole that randomly opens on the mat, and all pairs in rolling or drilling are pulled in to it until everyone’s in a clump.

Started with a short warmup. After some circled-up drills, did the partner hip switch — lay next to your partner, feet to head; reach under their legs with your inside hand and grab their far hand as they do the same. Shoot your hips up, then switch over to the other side. Then to rolling, with that same partner. I was with Yoshi. We started slow, but then picked it up right quick. One more roll, with Theresa.

Since we hadn’t done any of these partner warmups for a very long time — since any other girls started, I think — I’d had no reason to mention to them that the key is to partner with a guy you want to roll with, since most of the time that’s what’s coming. Sarah had just asked me before class about which returning guys she should avoid, and I mentioned one in particular who has no regard for his partners and will hurt you and then laugh because he’s such an idiot and thinks it’s funny that he’s so dumb. And then she got stuck with him during the drill (which he’s probably okay to work with there because there are no submissions involved) and didn’t know what was coming. And then he was of course being a complete douchebag in rolling; I wanted to scream at him from across the mat to stop muscling her around, but held my tongue. (She did say afterwards that everything I’d said about him was completely true.) So after rolling when we were all getting water, I apologized for not telling her the secret sooner.

(I did find out later that he was taken care of by some higher belts. Thank you! [Unfortunately, he’s too big for me to do much with. He flings me around if I get near anything.])

Drilling was a counter to them countering the scissor sweep. Drilled with Theresa, then a round of rolling with her. Last round I grabbed Scott. I worked on being a tree, but he’s a crafty woodcutter. Doh. 😛 I was also working to get away when he pinched my knees together per Kintanon’s advice, which, if I understand it right, is essentially standing in base. And it worked! And then he let me play on top for a bit, sprawling and trying to attack with a guillotine, even though I knew it was highly unlikely to have any effect other than to get me more pressure once he swept me. Fought out to the top a few times and worked on getting that knee in for the knee-through pass (which is what the kids are doing tomorrow night, so I was trying to practice); not so much. I even got to mount once — I think it was more from him giving me too much space than anything else — and worked to hold it, but got upa‘d easily.

Some of the guys stuck around for APC. I really need to start joining them, since my cardio is non-existent right now, but I have so many aches and pains and weirdness in my body; I’m trying to wait until everything settles down more before I start training hard again. I need to start in September at least, though: I have the Submission Only Tournament in December, and Tim’s already picked a date on which he wants to have me start competition training, so I need a solid base so I’ll be ready for that! He was upset that I didn’t tell him about the last one soon enough to have done it for that one (but in all honesty that one completely snuck up on me; the summer seemed to fly by), and so he wants to be sure I do enough for this upcoming one. Oi.

Purple Belt Buddy is back. (Hurray!) He’s been out training in California all summer. (Oh, dear!) He came in on Saturday and did some MMA, but then re-injured his injured shoulder. So tonight he was mostly sitting out during rolling (I think he did a half-round with Justin) and did some drilling with Scott. I think sitting during class and then seeing the guys doing APC, and him not able to join because it involved a good bit of arm movements, got him fired up, though, so he asked to roll a bit. Wohoo! Yes, anytime! Oh, my goodness, he’s smoother than before, if that’s even possible. It’s almost like everything is the same position to him — no matter what you do, he’s always exactly in position for something else.

Lol, he tried at first to roll with his injured arm tucked in his belt, but I think I was giving him enough trouble that the next thing I know, he’s setting up Old School with both arms. Hey, now, wait a minute…! I just tried to avoid that arm, and if I might have put too much pressure on that side, I checked to be sure he was okay. (Which I knew was a bit silly, since he’s 70-80 lbs heavier than me, so the whole point of rolling with me is that I’m small enough that there isn’t any extra weight or pressure on that arm. But, I still like to look out for my partners.) He let me work on my tree impression, though he chopped me down even quicker than Scott had, and on my knee-through pass, though he didn’t even need his injured arm to defend that one. He did let me practice passing his guard a few times, and I could get away with a little more movement than usual because he was trying not to use that arm too much. Still, my tenure on top or past didn’t last too long, and I was back to dropping myself into armbartriangleomoplatas (I swear, I could hardly tell which was which, he moved between them so easily). I’m gonna have to pay attention and learn this game; I like it! We rolled for 20-30 minutes, I think.

Update on Will: he says that he can stand on his leg now and even walk a bit, and that there’s little swelling, so at the moment he’s not going to get an MRI and is just going to let it heal. Which, since he’s as insane as the rest of us, is probably a few weeks off at most, and then starting to try to work his way back in to class for as much as he’s able.

So, apparently one of the reasons the guy last night — oh, and he did come back tonight; good for him — blurted out the “I’m going to get beat by a girl, aren’t I?” line is because he thought I was all of 12. As in, years old. And, even better, he thought that Jess was my mom. Because he asked her tonight if I was her daughter. She laughed at first and said, “How young do you think she is?” He said, “I dunno — twelve?” She laughed and repeated it to me, and I just waited for her to catch the other implication of what he’d said. And then she thought about it for a moment and said, “Hey! Wait! How old do you think I am?!” Poor guy was so embarrassed at that, especially once we all played the guessing game, and he found out that I’m 10 years older than he is and that she’s about 5 years younger than me. So yeah, I think he wouldn’t have been quite so terrified last night if he’d realized he was facing an adult and not a kid.


13 responses to “Influx

  1. Kintanon says:

    That entire post is hilariously awesome in some many ways.

    Glad my advice helped. The guys that usually show up early to help me film stuff DIDN’T the day I wanted to film the video for you, so I’ve now got your video and a video for SavageKitsune over at JIUJITSUFORUMS to film sometime next week.

    If you find your self getting upa-ed out of mount a lot think about trading it for Knee on Belly. You can transition better and stay light using KoB and popping up and down from Side Control to KoB and over to North South and all that stuff. Remember, Mobility is your friend.

  2. leslie says:

    @Kintanon: No problem. I’m usually fairly good at working out techniques from descriptions if the descriptions are good enough. What I did worked when they wanted to pass to the side that my knees were trapped on (to the front). If they try to go around the other way, though, I don’t think it will work so well because I’ll only be helping their head, and my torso will be all twisted around too much. Hmm.

    Ah! KOB! I had actually done that a fair bit when Buddy let me pass his guard, and he told me later that KOB had been hindering what he was trying to do. But, in general, my KOB is atrocious and lacks any pressure. One more thing to work on.

  3. Kintanon says:

    Hmm, pressure is an interesting concept to work with for people our size. We all want to be “heavy” so that our partners feel the weight crushing down on them and lament their ineptitude at getting trapped under our mighty side control, but for us pressure shouldn’t only be about weight. Think of pressure in the more general sense of stress. You want to create stress in your opponent with your position. If that stress is from your weight, great, but it doesn’t have to be.
    If people fear your submissions from a certain position then you have pressure from that position. People are afraid, they work harder when you put them there and they make more mistakes because of it. After all, the point of any kind of pressure is to make your opponent give you an opening.
    So don’t think you need to be heavy to have good pressure. Get to Kob and move around a lot. Grab collars, hook arms. Anything your opponent does they should be worried you are about to sub them with it. That way they don’t have time to notice that you aren’t heavy.
    Stress = Pressure. Create stress and you create pressure. It’s not just about weight.

  4. li says:

    Haha! Awesome on the age thing 😉

  5. leslie says:

    @Kintanon: Thanks, lots of good stuff to think about. I’ll start playing with that.

    @Li: Lol, I’m just glad I was on the “young” side and not the “old lady” side 😛

  6. LOL…. you have already completely sabotaged yourself by setting up negative mental imagery connected with the tree visualization (woodcutters and being chopped down). You should probably just chuck that one and try the boulder or giant toad instead. And no more self-defeating visualizations!!! Boulder and Giant Toad weigh a million pounds, and they are CEMENTED to the mat- not even the legendary Justin can pry a million cemented pounds off the mat!!! Are you kidding??!! Boulder and Toad are unbeatable, unsweepable, undefeatable!!! Believe it and be it!!!!

  7. Kintanon says:

    I’ve always like the spikeyball imagery. Nothing can crush the spikey ball. IT HAS SPIKES!

  8. leslie says:

    @SavageKitsune: Lol, my tree was only planted yesterday; it’s still just a little sapling. I’ll keep watering it and working on it, until it grows up and becomes a mighty oak. I’ll work on iron bark, too, that will dull and chip the axes.

    (By the way, I also used that visual with the kids tonight, when one was asking how not to get knocked over, and they kept saying, “Be a tree!”)

    @Kintanon: Someone in class rolls like that, only they actually use elbows and pointy parts as their spikes. That hurts. Me no likey. 😦

  9. Kintanon says:

    Well duh! Of course you use elbows and pointy parts as your spikes. You have to! That’s the point of being a spiky ball. If you try to lay on me I’ll puncture you. No one is allowed to get comfortable and try to squish me.
    Even when I’m on top I think of myself as a ball, like a boulder. Can’t trip a boulder. Boulder doesn’t care if it’s upside down or rightside up, you want to throw a boulder? Fine. Gonna cost you a lot of effort and the boulder won’t even care. And guess what? The boulder has big ol’ spikes all over it. You wanna mess with the boulder spikes? No, of course not. Nobody wants to mess with the boulder spikes.

    ‘Course, then I get on top and people are all bench pressin me off of side control and I’m all like, “You think you can pick up the boulder? Well PSYCH! I’m not a boulder anymore! I’m a MUDSLIDE. *SPLORP* How’s that for your bench press? Can’t hold up the mudslide! Nobody stops the mudslide!”.

    Sometimes I think I spend too much time on my metaphors… But who doesn’t want to be a spiky mudslide boulder?!

  10. leslie says:

    @Kintanon: Lol. Well, this one uses them more as weapons. Is not nice.

    But, so what you’re saying is that I should develop a focused internal anime-style monologue during my rolls? 😛

  11. Kintanon says:

    If you don’t already have an internal anime style monologue during your rolls then it’s NO WONDER you’re having trouble.

  12. leslie says:

    @Kintanon: That does explain a lot, doesn’t it? 😛

    I finally got the Joe Rogan spazz announcer out of my head. Now it’s more a blend between Caleb and Shawn from the Mundials broadcast (“He’s setting up for an armbar here. She needs to protect that elbow — see how she’s trying to hide her elbow inside her knee?”). They’re calm and rational, but still only commentating on what’s happening and possibly the next logical step, not that I can usually do what they suggest.

  13. Kintanon says:

    My internal monologue is the voice from Killer Instinct. I even found myself shouting C-C-C-C-COMMBBOOOO!!!! One time when I switched from one swept to another on a guy a few weeks ago. Having that voice in your head saying, “PROTECT YOUR NECK!!” makes it hard to forget what you are supposed to do.
    And if you’ve never heard the voice before, here’s a clip: <– has a lot of examples of the voice.
    I also tend to make Starcraft references, like saying "Upgrade in Progress" when I start passing guard, then "Upgrade Complete!" when I get to side control.

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