BJJ Grrl

"Be gentle, kind and beautiful, yet firm and strong, both mentally and physically." ~Sensei Keiko Fukuda

All aboard the Turtle Express!

on July 21, 2010

That’s turtle as in slow and as in the position I get stuck in…

I didn’t go to class this morning. Felt just as awful this morning as I did last night. Actually took part of lunch to nap in my car. The car was stuffy, and I never actually fell asleep, but it did help. Well, that and 3 large cups of coffee. So much for trying to cut back…

No one came early to roll. Just as well, I suppose, given how rough the day started. Small group, which has been usual for the summer so far. Started with Sarah. I wanted to work on passing her legs again, but every time I tried, she’d disengage and back out, so I had to go to my guard so we could get started. Trying to go slow and steady with her, though she bounces around everywhere and tries to run around my guard to pass. I’m not seeing alternatives right now — I’m getting so fixated on one thing and one thing only that I can’t see when other things are open. Meh. I am starting to think a little bit more in terms of points, though.

Then grabbed Will. Felt like I was in slow motion the whole time. Nothing right. Stuck in turtle lots and lots, no matter what I tried.

Drilling was a far-side kimura. Got to drill with Will.

One more roll. I went to get Justin, but someone had left class so we had an odd number, and that left me with spazzy tense new guy. Really, I don’t want to be the Law. I don’t want to break them in. I just want to practice. For me. I’m selfish. I want to roll *for me*, and I don’t think it helps me much having to go with new guys and spazzy white belts going 200%. I want to roll with someone competent. *le sigh* / End Rant / pity party / selfish confession. I was still slow. He also tries to run around my guard. Found some sweeps. Worked on maintaining mount and side control. (Afterwards, he asked if I’d been putting my knee in his chin there. Lol, I guess that means it was heavy?) Zeroed in on the kimura from class, but couldn’t ever isolate that far arm. He did slam me once when I had guard, and somehow that loosened my tongue this time. I asked him to stop and then pointed out that what he’d done was called slamming and that it was illegal in tournaments and not nice otherwise. He apologized, and I said that I know he hadn’t meant to hurt me but that he needed to know. He’s a nice guy until you start rolling with him, and then he’s just gripping and ripping everything. Found a RNC and a guillotine. After class, he asked Justin and Will what those were and why were they happening to him all the time.


Before class, one of the guys was trying to tell me about one of the fights at the kickboxing event a few months ago. He couldn’t remember the kid’s name and was trying to describe him and finally said, “Come on, you know — the one who has a crush on you.” Wait, what? How did I miss this? He finally remembered the kid’s name, and then he related this whole story of how the kid asked him for advice about coming over to talk to me one day. My guy pointed out that I’m, ahem, twice this kid’s age. To which the kid replied, “Age is just a number.” (Fits of giggles followed on my part. There was rolling around and laughing.) I do remember that day, though, and the kid did come over and talk to me. I’m more than a little slow with this whole flirting thing (which is apparently a good thing in this case because, um, hello, jail bait!), so I totally didn’t get it. He tried our class once — bought a gi and everything — but hasn’t been back since. He comes over and hangs around before class, and sometimes sits and watches. I’ve been trying to figure out why for months now; thought maybe he was considering trying again,, but no, apparently he comes over to watch me. Oh, dear…

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5 responses to “All aboard the Turtle Express!

  1. Jenn S. says:

    Aaaaaaawkward. Sort of hilarious, but mostly awkward. Poor kid is probably too intimidated by your l33t skills (or the idea of talking to you again) to give jits another try …

  2. reginadabean says:

    Oh, no, Poor Leslie!!! *grinz*

  3. leslie says:

    @Jenn: Yeah, awkward. Kinda cute and endearing, but definitely awkward. Actually, he does still talk to me. More of a “Hey, girl” in passing.

    @reginadabean: I can find ’em interested when they’re 15 years younger and 15 years older. I’d kinda like to narrow that range down…

  4. Kintanon says:

    Reading about you getting stuck under Turtle all the time is almost as frustrating as reading about Slideyfoot and his halfguard problems from last year.

    I assume you keep turtling because people are passing your guard and you prefer the turtle to being under side control.
    STOP THAT. You’re using the turtle as a crutch to avoid developing your guard retention and reguarding. I DEMAND that you watch this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2748563594346939076#

    Next watch this one:

    Now. Stop turtling. You can’t attack from under the turtle. I don’t care how miserable it is to be stuck under side control. I spent tons of time stuck there before I watched that Maia video and my entire world changed. The Tornado guard stuff is fairly new, and I’m not so much recommending you try that sweep as that you absorb the principle involved in spinning under people as they try to pass and things like that.
    You’re small, be mobile. You can’t be mobile if you’re turtled.

  5. leslie says:

    @Kintanon: Aye, aye, Captain!

    You’re exactly right, I’m turtling as they pass. But then bad things happen, like my back getting taken.

    I had been trying to improve my turtle, but you’re echoing what Emily Kwok says Marcelo Garcia tells her when she asks about something: he shakes his head and says, “But you should not be getting in that position at all.”

    I’ll play those videos all day long. (Only seen the first minute or so of the first one so far, and the lightbulb is already flickering on.) Much thanks!

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