One inch forward, miles & miles backwards

During college, my best friend named my early morning incoherence “The Beast” and my growling tummy “Fluffy” (after the three-headed dog in Harry Potter). She cured me of lots of my social anxieties, but lately I’ve noticed that I’m becoming downright hostile when certain people show up to class. I don’t even have to work with them, but my hackles raise and I’m on edge as soon as they walk in. I don’t like them, and I don’t like that I don’t like them. (I think they’ve done things to totally deserve my not liking them or wanting to be around them, but still, I don’t want to be an immature little brat [well, no more than I already am].) I’ve decided to name this grouchiness The Gorgon.

The Gorgon was out in full force tonight.


Went walking at lunch. Got almost to the turnaround point, and it started raining. Bah.

Nothing worked at work. Data has mysteriously disappeared, and no one will fess up to it.

Happy moment: Best friend called at the end of the day and officially asked me to be her maid of honor. Yay, she’s getting married! Now I just need to figure out what all I need to do…

Adjustment with Dr. Tom. Next week I go down to 2x/week, so that’s good.

No one came early tonight, so nothing there. Class was small, with a new guy who claimed to have no experience and yet did. (Why? I don’t get it. And once the boys figured it out, which didn’t take long, he got fed to higher belts who had no mercy.)

With Will to start. Excuse me, excuse me — why is this boy yanking on my arms and knocking me over? What is this all about? “Jiu-jitsu,” you say? What’s that? Ow, that hurts… So, um, yeah. It was as if I knew nothing at all. Fell in to some seriously stupid stuff to get caught in.

Then a round with Scott. Still in Wonderland, but he claimed I had good shoulder pressure at one point. And I did use that sweep that Justin and Will worked with me on last Friday. He laughed when I got it and asked where I’d learned that. I also “saved” him as another pair came crashing down toward his head; picked him up and pulled him over just in time. Then we moved far away. At least my reflexes worked when it was important.

Drilling was RNC. I drilled it a few times with Will, until Theresa joined the class, and then let her drill it on me.

(By the way, when the instructor asks, “Are there any questions?”, this is not the time to call out to a guy across the room: “Hey, so-and-so, did you get a haircut?” You. Are. An. Idiot. And are not funny.)

Rolling, with Theresa first and then with Guillaume. He was being wiggly and energetic. I tried to D’Arce him several times, but guess I didn’t quite have his top arm in position. Tried to transition from D’Arce to Big Poppa to D’Arce to guillotine, but apparently did it all wrong as none were anywhere near anything. Saw a triangle but couldn’t lock it in; went to an omoplata but he rolled before I could catch him; flopped around and missed the armbar from the end. Couldn’t do anything from north/south kimura-land. Meh.

A couple of the guys were going to do some conditioning after class, but I felt too lethargic to join them. I need it, though: so weak. *le sigh*

8 thoughts on “One inch forward, miles & miles backwards

  1. Really enjoy your writing. I’m blown away by how much you can remember about a session. I try my best, but so much is a blur. You also describe things in such detail…and sometimes criticize or comment about other classmates…I have to wonder…do they read your blog? If so, what do they say? Do you care? I’d love to use my sparring partner’s names (easier to write that way), but wonder what they’d think if they read my posts… Hmm… Take care and I look forward to your next update. G-Stamp

  2. @G-Stamp: Lol, I was recently thinking that I’m starting to forget so much about a session. I think I used to remember more, especially about individual rolls. But then, on your blog you use timestamps to divide classes; I usually have no idea how long things last and just guesstimate.

    As far as I know, no classmates read my blog, though I’m aware that they could be or may one day. I usually do keep that in mind. If I’m upset with someone, I give them a nickname (“The Condescending White Belt”) or avoid their name entirely (generally calling them “spazzy white belt,” lol). I suppose I’m counting on no one knowing who I was rolling with. 😉

    If it’s something they said to me or something I would (or have already) say to them, then I do use their name. E.g., that Big John is fast or that I want to tap to Will’s side control or that Guillaume was wiggly.

  3. I see. Yeah, I don’t think anyone knows I blog my sessions but expect someone will notice, eventually, and when one notices, others will find out quickly. Our school isn’t very large. I am most concerned that a few of my posts might offend a more experienced white belt that I just about destroyed his first day back after a 2-mo break. He probably wouldn’t want to know that I’ve gone easy on him since our first encounter. He’s a good guy and we’ve developed a bit of a rapport after a somewhat rocky introduction. That said…name or no name, if he read my blog he’d know I wrote about him. But others who were too busy rolling themselves to notice probably wouldn’t have a clue. Maybe I’ll just start using names. It sure would make blogging the session easier.

    BTW, I’m a fairly linear thinker so timeframes help me recall the session. That said, the timestamps are definitely guesstimates. But I suspect they are pretty close. For example, I always know the first 15-20 mins is warm-up and standard drills and the last 30 mins is rolling. Not too tough to break out the middle 40-45 mins or so.

  4. @Carlos: I’m the one I’m calling The Gorgon, lol. Do you mean there are people who cause you to turn into The Gorgon, too? (In which case, good, now I don’t feel alone!)

    @G-Stamp: Yeah, I guess if they were the one rolling with you, they might realize it. I sometimes leave out some identifying details or don’t associate them with a previous class (and just call them “a spazzy guy” — default name, lol!).

    Ah, I see. I thought you were actually timing all the different parts of class!

  5. I’m the same way, regarding the Gorgon thing. There are certain people that set me off and make me cranky. Not many, and fortunately, very few at my BJJ school. I don’t like being cranky but I won’t deny that I am sometimes.

    Latest trigger: boys who look at my 13 year old daughter… at all. 🙂

  6. @Steve: Glad to hear I’m not the only one who gets grumpy with that set. (I sometimes write stuff like The Gorgon just to prove that I’m crazy… and then someone else says, “Hey, me, too!”, which then proves I’m normal… or we’ll all just crazy together…)

    Lol, yes, I understand how that could definitely be a cranky trigger. 😛

  7. 🙂 I was actually surprised at how seriously irritated I was the first time some scruffy looking tween eyeballed my daughter.

    The Gorgon really comes out in my when I don’t get to class at least twice in a week. Like all addictions, I suffer from withdrawals, and crankiness is a side effect.

    Keep your head up. I love reading your blog.

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