Was kicked out of class again tonight. Couldn’t breathe all night, couldn’t move; body just would not cooperate. And Tim kept pushing and pushing, especially those of us competing. The last roll, he made me and my partner start over because I wasn’t being aggressive enough, though it felt as if I was giving everything I had. He said I was disappointing him. I know it was meant to motivate me, but it had the opposite effect: I just wanted to go crawl into a hole somewhere and cry. Which, eventually, I did.
When we finished that roll, right after I had to tap out to a new guy who I should have been able to counter, he sent those of us competing to the wall for more conditioning. My body quit and broke down, eyes tearing up, the whole messy oh-please-not-now deal. So he kicked me out. He doesn’t want the guys seeing that, and I totally understand. I just want my body to do what I tell it to do…
We drilled the move of the week, running escape from side control, and then drilled a half-guard escape. Couldn’t even breathe during drills; just could never seem to catch my breath. Rolled like a sack of potatoes; had no pressure, no hooks, no sweeps, little reaction (and what there was was usually wrong). Clifton at one point asked me if I was okay; I said no, that I couldn’t catch my breath for some reason.
At work today, one of our clients basically asked us to rewrite the way the internet works, since they didn’t like how something was working on their site. Um, no.