BJJ Grrl

"Be gentle, kind and beautiful, yet firm and strong, both mentally and physically." ~Sensei Keiko Fukuda

No mo’ mojo

on April 20, 2009

So apparently the new gi only had 1 day of mojo. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

Rolling to warm up tonight. Started with a white belt who I knew it was a mistake to roll with. He’s been out for several months with injuries, so he was making a big deal about how he couldn’t roll with “these guys” — arms spread to encompass the entire room except for me — because he’s just getting back and they’ll muscle-shark him and he can’t use muscle blah blah blah. So I had to roll with him. And he jumped out at 200%, muscling everything, trying to rip my arm off or crank my head off, picking me up and slamming me around, ripping and snorting for everything. So much for a warm-up round.

I should have stopped it because I was just getting more ticked off the longer I rolled with him. Not frustrated, not hurt, not upset: just good and mad. I want a warm up roll, not a round of getting sat on and sweated on. And why should I have to sit out just because someone’s an idiot? I. Want. To. Roll. … Granted, not that that’s really rolling, but there’s a mat and I want to be on it. I kept thinking of things I could say to him while we rolled, but as usual I kept it to myself. Until right at the end, when he said something about my rolling that came across as condescending, and I snapped back that his idea of “not muscling sharking” is actually muscle sharking.

Regretted it immediately because I sounded like a sore loser — not that I was thinking of it as losing, but it’s the same idea — and of course then got upset with myself for being a jerk in response. Stalked off to get water and pull myself together, which didn’t totally happen.

Then had to roll with another white belt who always smashes on me. Great, just what I need right now. And he’s warm and loose, while I’m still not, and things did not go well. A lot of just pulling turtle and waiting for the round to end. Unfortunately, in all the rolls tonight, Tim didn’t use the timer and he was rolling, too, so they were all far longer than I wanted to be out there with any of those guys.

Then drilling. Spinning armbar for when someone bridges and grabs your leg. Had to work with the first guy I rolled with. I tried to get anyone else, even one of the new guys, but no, I got stuck. And maybe it’s just that it’s his first day back, but he was almost as bad to drill with tonight as always-first-day guy — and I was still ticked off at him, which didn’t help. He’d go for the wrong leg and get his head on the outside, which nullifies the move; nice and all, but not what we’re working. Or he’d come up on his knees after grabbing my leg and grip tightly, so I couldn’t step over. And when it was his turn, it was slamming his weight on my head (and he ain’t little) and ripping my arm back.

Eventually we moved on to drilling the bridging part because a lot of the guys were having trouble doing it right. I’d get under his side control, get my arms and hands in position, and start to turn, and he’d catapult himself backwards. This meant that my arms were still bent and I was flat and wasn’t bridged at all even though my partner was further away than I could ever throw him, and so Tim turned and fussed at me for not doing it right. And because I was already ticked off and because it was definitely not my fault, I exploded at Tim that my partner was jumping away before I could even do it. (I told you I was ticked off…) Tim’s eyes got a little wider but he only said that I needed to extend my arms anyway, and then he told my partner not to jump away. Which the guy did for the few reps that Tim watched him, and during which I did the drill exactly as I was supposed to — and as soon as Tim walked away, he went back to pulling away. And on his turn, totally trying to bench press and fling me across the room. I was trying to me more pleasant and not act still ticked off when we drilled and was even talking to him, but maybe I wasn’t as disarming as I thought I was.

Finally finally we stopped drilling. On to one more round of rolling. Got a guy who’s usually okay to roll with; I can usually get at least one sweep or a decent escape, and he doesn’t usually try only to overpower me. But everyone must be having a bad week and needs someone to take it out on. Crushed. Little bug on the bottom. Side control, mount, back mount: saw it all from the wrong side. Don’t even think I got to guard at all. Defending the whole time. Got in his guard once, when we reset, and couldn’t do anything except defend my arms until he tossed me over and took mount.

So no mo’ mojo. Back to trying to keep a skid from turning in to a full-fledged downward spiral… Sometimes I wish we did do stripes in our school so I could give them back. When Caleb posted the question at the Fightworks Podcast asking if we think we deserve our current belts, I wanted to pick “No, I feel that I should really have a lower belt,” but you can’t go lower than a plain white belt. If we did stripes, though, I would have picked that. But it’s too late and I’m tired, so I’ll just stop there.

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