Get a grip, Part II

Except tonight, it was my emotions again. And the heavy bag. We did bag hangs — jump up and wrap your arms & legs around the bag and hold. All the guys could lock up their guard and/or rear naked choke and hold; my fingertips and feet just barely touched. I fell. A lot. No one else did. Downward spiral from there.

Really small class tonight: eight, and one was a new guy. Started just punching the heavy bag to warm up. Second round was sit ups, throwing elbows at the bag. Third round was the bag hangs. Three minutes. Anyone falling off = 1 min of mountain climbers. I might have made it for a whole minute at first. But then I kept falling. Tried to grip and hold even as I slid down the bag, arms and legs trembling the whole way, but gravity would win every time. Don’t know how many times total I fell. I think Tim felt sorry for everyone having to do all those mountain climbers just because I couldn’t hold on; we never did do them. One more round standing up, going hard. Arms and legs so tired. Punching as hard as I could, and the bag barely moved. Tim was on me to hit harder.

Partnered up and grabbed an exercise ball per pair. Sprawl drill. You roll the ball hard at your partner; they sprawl on it and bounce back up and shoot it back to you. Then switched the exercise balls for medicine balls. From your knees, you throw the ball at your partner and shoot your hips back for a quick sprawl; they catch and are supposed to immediately throw it back, so if you aren’t fast enough getting back up, you get hit in the head. Worked with the new guy, and he was slinging it pretty good; got whacked a few times until Tim told him to slow it down. Arms so tired, could hardly throw by the end; was doing the total girlie whole body “oof” throw and barely making it to my partner.

Three quick sparring rounds next. Supposed to be 50%. I was giving 100% of what I had, and it was pathetic. Could hardly even keep my hands up to defend, let alone try a punch. Then we did a kick, jab-cross, kick, takedown drill. Ended up with the tallest guy in the room, more than a foot taller than me. But I can kick higher, which was mildly amusing at the time. (Actually, I can kick him in the head if I wanted to, but there’s not a lot of power there. So I kept the kicks about his hip level.) He said afterward that my kicks were pretty hard, which is nice — and amazing, considering how tired I was at this point.

Then two rounds of one person doing takedowns and the other person defending with punches. Same guy. He could take me down at will. I did have one nice defense, where I threw a jab and he shot but ate my followup uppercut; he took me down anyway, but he did say it was a good hit. On my round, I went for a takedown and he sprawled heavy, planting me on the ground and knocking the wind out of me. He weighs ~100 lbs more than me, too. Hurt so much. Got up and tried to continue the round, but couldn’t get my breath, which is when I started to hyperventilate. Oo, I hate that. I know it doesn’t help that I get upset when that happens, either, because then it takes me even longer to catch hold of myself enough to control my breathing again. I nearly really did lose it in class right then. Tim had me slide out and moved one of the other guys over (since he’d just poked his partner in the face and that guy had to sit, too).

A five-minute round of ground ‘n’ pound, starting from the knees. I kept thinking I was doing jiu-jitsu since I was on the ground, so I’d forget about punching, and then Micah would clock me good. Doh. Had a couple of good shots back on him (which I only know because he’d say, “Good!”), but mostly it was me forgetting that I could punch and just trying to avoid his.

Final round, shadow boxing with sprawls. At the end, I just stood in place and tried to breathe. So tired. So hurt. Two hours later, and I’m still hurting and tired.

My butt is sore from climbing, too. And my toes turned purple last night, too. I got most of it off last night with acetone, but some of the dye got into the calluses on my feet and isn’t budging.

My “do what I think of” morning workouts aren’t working so well. After walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes, I do whatever I think of/feel like doing, which is usually not much. So, I’m going to work on a list of things, and then work out how to divide them up — what I can do at home, what I can do before/after class. Bag hangs are already on the list. I’m tired of being so wimpy.

Have to write down what I’m eating, too, to make sure I’m getting enough. (That would cause depressive mood swings, too — I don’t do well at all on low calories or low carbs.)

Lazy optimist has been at work, thinking that just thinking about making an extra effort would be enough. Apparently it isn’t. Lazy optimist likes making lists but not plans and schedules, though it looks like that’s all now a necessity.

Still no word back from the company that was supposed to reschedule an interview with me. I’ve emailed them twice now, and no reply at all. And still strongly considering studying for the patent bar.


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